idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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