Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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