Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Panties = found
Randomize
