What a fucking waste of an outfit
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
