Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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