Whatcha textin bout Willis?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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