whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
