she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
