my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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