I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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