ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
