think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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