She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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