Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
