I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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