Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
