just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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