our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
This toilet bowl is my home.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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