Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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