I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
we're so committed to being not committed
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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