Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
