just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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