When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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