NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
