Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
