I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
