what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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