And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
