I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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