dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize