I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
