S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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