how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Congratulations! We have a period
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
