I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
