Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
