I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize