Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
