He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
