Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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