we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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