she was so not down for the gang bang
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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