I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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