he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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