I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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