I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
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He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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