dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
