just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I think my vagina is haunted
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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