even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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