I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize