I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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