we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
