Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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