Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
