Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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