white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
