The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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