Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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