Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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