is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
